What Control Freak Are You?

"I am not a control freak!"

I hear you say. Ha ha! Well I think it’s fair to say that all of us in some way are quite attached to having control over certain things. Some of us have quite an attachment to having everything under our control, which is a perfect recipe for misery if ever I saw one.

Even people who let others make all the decisions for them and those that do not actively try and get their opinions heard over everyone else’s are doing so out of a desire to control: The control of their own self preservation. With no decisions made by them they are not accountable for anything that goes wrong. You can’t get out of it. You are a control freak, at least some of the time.

You can only be a control freak when you are being automatic because that way of being is detached from the truth of who you are and that truth is, in a nutshell that control doe snot exist outside of yourself and that you don’t even need to focus on having control over any of the outside world. As I suggested in my last article, much of what we experience and create in our reality is automatic, which is why we often feel at the mercy of things happening to us, hence the desire to control everything and the way I see it is that all the while we are coming from a place of being automatic, or put another way, the more unconscious we are being, the more we are attached to having control.

Am I saying that we have no control over our own lives?

Well, yes and no. It depends on where you apply your energy. When I say you cannot have control, which is normally the desire when being automatic, I am referring to things outside of yourself. The frustration we have when trying this tactic in our lives comes from the fact that we look outside into the world and we try and make things out in that world, the physical world, fit with our model, or map of it. Our reality comes from our mind’s programming and so the rest of the world outside needs to fit this map for us to be happy and for life to be the way we want it to be.

This is a recipe for guaranteed failure of course because the world outside of yourself is already manifested and you cannot "un-create" something, especially when the real cause of the reality you see came about without your total conscious awareness. If you are consciously aware, the reality you create will appear in a way that will not make you feel that it needs changing. It will already be a perfect match for the way you intended things to be, even if the way those things came into being were not of the exact order you may have intended. Your resultant situation will be the one you desire and the one that makes you feel happy.

This is where control is yours. You are the only one who thinks your mind. You are the only one who can see what you see, not just through your eyes, but your perception. Your perception and observation is unique and 100% created and chosen by you. This is where you have control. If you deliberately create your life with a disciplined mind set then you ultimately have more control because you will experience far less things in your reflected reality that need fixing or modifying. The irony is that as soon as you let go of the need to control the things in your life, whether it is situations or other people and instead look at how you create your reality and cause it to unfold moment by moment, you will feel totally in control of your life. Things will generally just go your way more often.

Isn’t that amazing? I have found that the times when I have had to solve a problem, the solution made itself clear to me and was effortless when I stepped back and let go of the need to erase the problem. The old cliche "There are no problems, only opportunities" may sound infuriating when your boss or your colleagues say it to you in a moment when you are being automatic, but just step away from the automatic and you will see that it is pure truth. When people say "The truth hurts" this is only the case when you are being automatic and hearing the truth causes a conflict within you. Your authentic self knows this truth, but your ego doesn’t want to accept it. Once you are being deliberate the truth really will set you free because it will free up the energy that your ego is spending to keep that particular mind pattern alive.

So in what way are you a control freak? I would love to hear your comments.

Tagged as: control, Ego, energy